"Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.." (Rick Cook) "Il ne faut jamais juger les gens sur leurs fréquentations: Judas, par exemple, avait des amis irréprochables." (Verlaine) "Robinson Crusoe was the only person ever to get everything done by Friday." (?) "Software is like sex: it's better when it's free." (Linus Torvalds) "My one regret in life is that I am not someone else." (Woody Allen) "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work I want to achieve it through not dying." (Woody Allen) "I took a course in speed reading learning to read straight down the middle of the page, and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia." (Woody Allen) "If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank." (Woody Allen) "Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in my bath and she'd come in and sink my boats." (Woody Allen) "The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more." (Woody Allen) "What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet." (Woody Allen) "94.5% of all statistics are made up." (Woody Allen) "Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good empty experience." (Woody Allen) "The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That's essentially how I feel about life." (Woody Allen) "It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens." (Woody Allen) "Sit next to a pretty girl for an hour, it seems like a minute. Sit on a red-hot stove for a minute, it seems like an hour. That's relativity." (Albert Einstein) "Happiness is finding two olives in your martini when you're hungry." (Johnny Carson) "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." (Frank Sinatra) "If you cannot convince them, confuse them." (Harry S. Truman)